Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Why I Eat Fake Meat

So, since I became vegan, I'm asked a lot of questions by many people.  If you're vegetarian/vegan, you know what I'm talking about.  "Where do you get your protein?" "Blah blah blah FANGS?!" "But soy destroys FORESTS ZOMG, YOU MONSTER!!!"  Okay, some of those are more of "indignant statements."  Anyway, I'd like to address a question I've been getting for years.  Sometimes, people ask innocently.  Other times, it's more of a "gotcha!" accusation.

"Why do vegans want to eat stuff that tastes and looks like meat?!"

I did not become vegan because I did not like the taste and appearance of meat.  I was quite the little meat-eater.  At fancy restaurants, I ordered filet mignon.  For birthday dinner, I always asked my mom for country fried steak.  I still long for the Santa Fe Chicken Sandwich at Carl's Jr.  I was never grossed out by meat or its flavor.  When I went pescatarian, and later, vegan, I did not crave meat.  I wasn't sitting around, wasting away, bruised and anemic, longing for a bloody piece of cow.  In fact, the idea of eating real meat disgusted me.  I had come so far, and never wanted to eat anything that caused death and/or suffering.  THAT was what disgusted me: the idea of eating something dead.  It's not the texture, juices, flavors, fats of meat that disgust me.  I am a vegan for ethical reasons first.

In other words, if I can eat something meaty that isn't dead, I will!  I'm not always in the mood for fake meat.  Some of it is pretty processed, and I try not to eat too much soy anyway, but in moderation, I will tend to a fibrous, chewy, meaty craving.  Should I feel guilty about that?  Like I'm misrepresenting vegans as people who are just desperate to eat like a "normal person?"  Like eating fake meat somehow says, "I am suffering here without meat, and must make do with the fake stuff.  I regret my decision!!!"  I don't think so.  And you shouldn't think so either.

I have also found some snobbery within the vegan community about fake stuff that is too close to the real thing being "disgusting."  Sometimes I agree, but I don't condemn others who love to eat it.  More power to you, peaceful, violence-free meat-lovers!  I do not think we should look down on imitation meat/dairy products, simply to prove a point to the omnivorous world that we "aren't missing out."  Instead, we should show omnivores that vegans can taste everything they can, while not hurting any animals!  It's a win-win!  Come on over to the vegan side, omnivores, and experience all the fake fried chicken, cheesy pepperoni pizzas, and juicy Gardein burgers you can!

Oh yeah, and vegetables?  They are pretty cool, too!

Monday, March 28, 2011

LA VEGAN BINGEFEST 2011!!!!!!

I (Amy) went to LA for a few days over Spring Break.  As someone who lived in LA for four years, I definitely already have some favorite vegan restaurants picked out.  I have felt very deprived from great vegan food since I left LA.  Although SLO has some staples like Vegan Spices Thai and Natural Cafe, I wanted the REAL stuff.  You know, the fake cheese slathered, gourmet, crazy insane imitation meat, creative, scientific vegan foods.  So, I decided to plan my trip around vegan food, like a super-obese person might do.  Sure, I went to Disneyland.  Sure, a saw a couple of movies.  Sure, I got to hang out with my sister and her husband, who recently moved to LA--but mostly, this trip was about gorging myself on so much vegan food that I was unable to sleep one night, due to being so painfully full.

Without further ado, I present to you....FOOD!!!!

Day 1: I went to Pure Luck, one of my favorite and most-frequented vegan restaurants in Los Angeles.  I failed to take pictures here, but let me describe this food to you.  I ordered my regular: a tofu pesto sandwich with potato pals on the side.  This isn't any ordinary tofu pesto sandwich (if there is such a thing).  This pesto is the brightest, most beautiful green.  It is chunky and garlicky and basil-y delicious.  The tofu is grilled to perfection.  Fresh lettuce and flavorful red onions add some crunch, while veganaise enhances the flavor of the whole thing.  The best part is quite possibly the perfectly toasted, soft-yet-chewy ciabatta bread, straight from La Brea Bakery.  As if that wasn't enough, the "potato pals" (lightly fried and seasoned gnocchi) with a side of this yummy, BBQ-y, veganaise-y sauce filled out the whole meal, leaving me properly and painfully stuffed.

After stuffing myself at Pure Luck, I went across the street to Scoops, an ice cream shop that feature s kooky flavors, homemade ice cream, and ALWAYS four vegan flavors!  My favorite flavors in the past have been "Salty Chocolate" and "Strawberry Balsamic."  Great stuff.  The flavors weren't great that day, but it was still vegan ice cream, so I got a scoop of Caramel Oreo.  Yum!

For dinner, my sister, her husband, and I ordered two large pizzas from Cruzer Pizza in Los Feliz, which just happens to be walking distance from my sister's house (lucky b!).  We got the "Quarrygirl.com" pizza on thick crust, which had portobello mushrooms, fake Italian sausage, and loads of Daiya cheese.  It was really good, but in the future I think I would get it with thin crust because the thick crust takes up about half a slice.  Also, I think the mushrooms were marinated in lemon or something because the pizza had a strong lemon flavor that was good, but kind of strange.  This is what it looked like:

The other pizza we got was BOMB.  It was Hawaiian on thin crust, and it was absolutely SMOTHERED in Daiya, really good fake ham (very hammy!!) and perfectly cut pineapple pieces.  I can't tell you how good this was (but I can show you!).


Day 2: My sister and I went to Native Foods in Culver City.  It was bittersweet because this spot used to be M Cafe, which I frequented when I lived in LA.  Fortunately, there is still a smaller M Cafe in West Hollywood (which I will get to in a couple of days!).  I got the Oklahoma Western Bacon Cheeseburger, which was effing HUGE.  HUGE!!!!  I had no idea how to eat it.  It had really yummy melted "cheese," tempeh bacon, some sliced seitan-like stuff, BBQ sauce, ranch dressed, red onions, carrots, lettuce, and fried pickles.  It comes open-face, and I basically had to knife and fork it.  I was VERY intimidated by it.  The seitan stuff was weird.  Kind of like egg whites mixed with turkey mixed with cardboard.  The highlight was definitely the melted cheese, french fries, and the best vegan ranch dressing I've ever had.  I could eat these fries and ranch every day.  Here are some pictures!



For dinner, I went with my sister, her husband, and a friend to Doomie's Home Cookin' in Hollywood.  This place is in a strip mall, and you won't notice it if you aren't looking for it.  It's a bit of a dive, but that food is BOMB.  It's full of vegan junk food, the most REALISTIC fake meats I've ever had, and crazy-bad-for-you desserts.  Insane in the membrane.  I will say this: the service BLEW.  Totally got ignored, forgotten about, and the dude serving wasn't apologetic about any of it.  It's stuff like that that gets rid of a star or two on Yelp, Doomie's dude!  Be careful!

First, we ordered the Chili Cheese Fries, which came with a vegan cheese or real cheese option.  The sauce and cheese was a bit runny, but they were pretty good.  Kind of brought me back to my Weinerschnitzel days.


I ordered the "Country Fried Steak," which came with gravy, mashed potatoes, and a really fluffy biscuit.  The potatoes were "eh," but the country fried steak tasted JUST like country fried steak.  Back in my carnivorous days, this was one of my favorite meals, so I was pretty stoked.  It was fibrous and meaty, and even thought my brother-in-law said it tasted a little bit chocolatey, it was very close to the real thing.  The gravy was also really well-spiced and thick.  This definitely brought back some fond childhood memories.

My brother-in-law got the fried chicken, which tasted SO MUCH like fried chicken.  If you're a vegetarian who is into that sort of thing, you have to find your way to Doomie's.  I mean, the breading, the meat texture, and even the fake slimy skin thing that fried chicken had was so realistic.

My friend got the chili cheeseburger, which I didn't try, but looked very Weinerschnitzel-y, too.
My sister got the Pulled Pork Sandwich, which was really BBQ-y and porky.  I have to say, it was way better than Pure Luck's "pulled pork," which is made out of jackfruit.  The Mac and Cheese that came on the side was very bland.
For dessert, we shared a plate of Fried Oreos, which were scary delicious and probably could kill someone.  Fortunately, there were four of us, and only four oreos on the plate, so none of us died of heart attacks.  The plate was covered in powdered sugar and chocolate sauce.  This is not something you should eat on a regular basis, but if you ever get a chance to try Fried Oreos, do it!  You'll feel delightfully white trash, which is not always an easy feat for vegans.

Day 3: DISNEYLAND!  I had a sauteed veggie burrito with rice and beans from the Mexican place in California Adventure.  I was looking forward to vegetable gumbo from that New Orleans place that sells gumbo and chowder in bread bowls, but we got rained out and had to go home.  Boo.

Day 4: I went to M Cafe with a bunch of people in West Hollywood.  I was enjoying my conversation so much that I forgot to take pictures, but I got my regular: The Madras Tempeh Wrap with a side of Spicy Peanut Kale and an Iced Rice Milk Mocha.  The wrap comes with this curry yogurt dipping sauce, which I could drink straight-up, if I wanted to be disgusting.  The tempeh is so flavorful, and is accompanied by frizzled (fried) little onions, raisins, and veggies.  The lavash it's wrapped in is so fresh and soft.  The mochas are always perfect, and this peanut-y kale is out of this world!  I used to have this meal all the time when I lived in LA, and if you have the chance and feel like partaking in a fresh, healthy, satisfying, flavorful lunch--go to M Cafe.  You won't regret it.

Oh, LA vegan food, how I miss you.  If I had longer, I would have also gone to Shojin for vegan sushi, Rahel Ethiopian for a giant platter of saucy beans and greens, and Swingers for their Tofu Chilequiles and soy chocolate peanut butter milkshakes.  But alas, I only had a few days, and I ate until my stomach hurt.  I felt like I'd never be hungry again.  I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.